That one night when America sadly has to realize they are not the only country on Earth
For the confused people on my dash, Eurovision is an event where all the European countries have a musician and a song and they all battle it out like the Hunger Games. Only one will come out alive. They will become King of Europe and control the EU and everyone has to speak that language for the year until next Eurovision.
And the whole of the UK celebrates as we didn’t come last.
Half the countries in Europe: Okay, so we've got this great idea: what if we enter a pretty young woman in a flowing dress who stands still on the stage and sings a forgettable ballad.
The other half: Okay, hit back with gay men.